working today.. left my phone in my bag as i tried not to msg... think of it... my life had go back to normal... that life that i don't want to... hate my life now... no sms no miss call no everything... no one care.. they don't know how i feel and how my life now.. they thought i'm fine cos i don't talk about it.. in fact, i'm having a very moody days.. it's been a few weeks already.. might be putting up smile and laughter but that just an act... i'm not like other, say forget then forget... i'm not like the rest of my friends, got family to talk to or rather their family do care about them... i know i cannot compare their life to mine.. but what can i do.. my life is getting from bad to worst.. at time thing might get better but somehow it's just ended suddenly... that why i'm a careful hearted person.. don't wish to get hurt but some stuff just cannot be avoid... at first i thought i finally meet someone i want but things just get worst... hate myself for screwing it out... really hope to get another chance... instead of rushing for thing.. think i got to go slow... hopefully thing will turn out right again.. i seriously hope so... for the first time, my mum want to celebrate my bday.. i should be happy but i can't seem to be... have been dreaming alot, my wishes don't seem to come true at all... i hate to be alone! for the past 5 or rather 6 year to be, i've been lonely in heart... i know thing cannot be force.. but i just can't stop myself from thinking about it... seem like i'm not going to enjoy my bday... for now i only hoping for a chance... i willing to wait... i willing to do anything for that small chance from u... sorry to blog this out... just that i really have no one to talk to..
wishes will nv nv come true for me...
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