31 October

happy halloween!

gem was so fun today COS we only got some thing to touch up before the presentation next week.. did 5 x 400m today at 90 sec but ya did at a faster pace.. faster 74sec to slower 87sec actually want to do 90sec for all set but hai.. don't know how to pace myself... had pizza for dinner and ya got some training advice from coach.. i knew i've overtrain but no choice have to rush to train well before standard chart.. just nice coach going to tiong so ya got a ride to there.. went to look at the price of some shade and ya adidas shade was quite ex too... well went home after shop and ya start doing my report for my gem.. argh! took me soOo long to get it done... did a bit of homework and plan to rest for the day.. quite tired today.. it's a long day man..

dear body, i know i've been overtrained and ya this will last for another 1 more months.. bear with it.. i'll start from the basic when i'm done with 21.1km.. lame i know but i want to use this time to apologise to my dear body..

31 October morning

WTH is the teacher doing!!! call us to do quiz and acting like a secondary or rather primary school teaching style... called us to make animal sound just to answer a question??? shit her!!! she using our GP mark somemore!!! what kind of poly teacher is her!!! feel like walking out of the class!

30 October

went to gym just now after lesson.. ans the feeling was so GREAT!!! haven't been to gym for a long long time.. dinner at staduim tomorrow!!! oh man... must be a great one...

if only... hmm... well... i don't know... confuse mind..

29 October

ARGH!!! Monday time trial!!! ARGH!!! what pace to run at!!! ARGH!!! who can i follow!!! SO STRESS!!! i really don't wish to drop to other group again!!! training was so.. so.. tired today.. can feel the achce on my legs... oh man.. feel so bad just now... i asked richrad to slow down the pace in a very rude tone... he was running 2 min per lap but when i see qi wen acc the other guy running behind, i thought we're running too fast.. and.. the whole group lost count on the lap we're running thank to richard for reminding us.. at first i thought he was jking.. but he isn't.. oh man... really don't know when he's jking and when not jking... Sorry richard... think is because of my run yesterday... can't count correctly today...

forgeting someone is not a easy for me, i need months to get over it... but i know i have to... manage to keep my mind off... time is all i need now to forget about it... no offend but that just me...

29 October morning

haven't been blogging for a few days... lesson is so damn boring now.. maybe is the tone that the cher use.. sound so boring...

the past few day was so entertaining, sunday went to meet my cousins and aunts for supper and ya i brought them to some where far haha somemore by walking.. they were like complaining haha cos it's really very far.. watched dvd after super and ya we slept at 4am.. didn't went home, stayed at aunt place for a nite with my cousins hey all.

Monday, went to SGH to visit him with my cousin and aunts. kind of lazy to go home so ya i ask my sister to bring my running kit over for me... did 5.6km on monday, the whole stadium was our!!! only 9 of us inculde coach... after bathing we went to foodcourt 5 to chat.. it's time to go home...

yesterday did 14.2km at 5min49sec per km.. about 10.5km per hour or longer.. was kind of happy for the timing.. at first thought i'm going at a slow pace but after calcuating i found out that actually my pace was all right... my goal getting nearer... 21km for less than 2 hr if come in 1hr 59min 59sec i also happy haha

25 October

wat happen today!!! so many people broke their pb!!! kai yin broke 2 of her pb somemore... time for me to break also haha... 21.1km standard chart.. got to break my army half pb and aim for better result...

why do people like to push their body limit so much,? if u're sick you should rest and recover. Life is so fragil.. one can just fall and pass away just like that. it's good to push ur limit but know how much ur body can take..

23 October

wasn't home the whole day today... had lesson then went straight to SGH.. well guess that i will be visiting him not just once.. come to think of it, my mum didn't mind taking great care of him well guess i should do my part also.. just go visit him ba.. went dinner with aunts and cousin they all... lolz.. my aunt keep wanting to pay for our meal.. sometime i really don't like to eat with them..

learn something during class and ya find it quite true..

if someone say "i love you" throught phone, don't believe fully cos he/she might be looking at someone else saying that...

22 October

well done to myself.. manage to get myself to study in clubhouse for like 1 hr plus... went to the so call nike sale but it's bullshit la.. only got somenike stuff the rest don't know wat brand also... did training under the rain, feel so good to be able to train under the rain sometime... did 5.6km at 27min18sec.. kind of fast.. but still can manage just have to adjust back to training on track... haven't been running on track so ya.. feel a bit strange..

problem keep falling on me... i need someone to talk to... nt my good friends of cos they're just playing friends... nv serious unless it's their owe stuffs...

21 Octobter night

normal lesson as usual.. met my cousin after lesson to go visit him... at first didn't plan to go visit him but after my cousin nagging lesson and some advise, i went. reach outram early as lesson end early.. waited for my cousin well late as always.. went up with her, when we reached the ward my mum was already there.. didn't spoke to him... hai.. then my dear cousin shown me the face.. lolz... she lecture in front of my parent ya in english... and demand me to visit him not just today... well can't say anything just nod my head... nv want to mess with her.. she can really nag and she's just 365 days older than me... ya same bday as me... lolz... kept thinking... i really do respect my mum, despite being betray and those life that he brought to her. she treat him so good... don't know how he feel but i can feel that my mum really took care of him... she even going to visit him everyday after work.. i mean... my mum don't really hate him... why should i... i really don't know... my aunt came to visit him too.. really thankful to them and thank to them to give him a good lecture too.. and ya my cousin took her time to acc me go visit him first instead of meeting my aunt they all... hopefully he will change because of the thing my mum did...

forgive him? not at the moment...

went back with my cousin as my mum and my sisters went back first.. suddenly my cousin shown me a sms from my sister saying that she so jealous that i'm closer to her (my cousin) than her(my sister). well there's too many thing that make it impossible to be so close to my sister... most of the time we quarrel, at time peace. i hate smoker and she is one.. when she smoke she's not like my friends, my friends will stay far far away from us but she just smoke.. damn smelly la.. just don't know wat to day either...

21 Octobter 12.59am

DON'T EVER PUT WORDS IN MY MOUTH!!! stupid sister! wat a family i have..

when i say i'm not going to forgive him, i mean it. i had said, i won't visit him at all.. but after listening to some advise and nagging lesson from my dear cousin, i think i will go down for a little while then FO. Not that i'm soft hearted not to him at all, just want to save all those nagging and stuff.. got my cousin to go with me as i don't want to speak to him alone. not even want to be sitting around with him alone. hateness for him will only grow! there's NO forgiveness for him not at all!

anyway thanks for the advise..

20 October morning

well working today.. central again.. the first thing i reach there, found out that i forgot to bring my money out and my posb account money can't use yet... lolz.. UOB atm is so far from central mall... no choice.. had late lunch, went to find the atm and bought food from there.. haha i left the china gal alone while i go buy food lucky sale not that good... today central very happenning got singing contest for jap song.. got one band remind me of a song that i like the title is "black stone" heard the song from nana the movie... this the live concert for the "black stone" didn't really know who the singer was just know that, she's great! she rock man!!! that the way to sing rock song!

18 Octoberh

day 1 of ivp today... didn't know the place so ya meet ling er first... well she need to go for appointment first so ya acc her go... thought her session will be fast but ya it's last 2 hr lucky i bought newspaper to read... didn't manage to see their race only manage to see qi wen and some other sprinter de race... feel so bad.. i told mei yi and pei yi that i'll be there to see their race.. sorry... next week confirm will go there early... didn't join them for dinner cos i meeting lian chen and wen cai for dinner.. had dinner at chinatown and ya we walk around there looking for place to travel to next year.. planning to go holiday oversea... we sit down and talk for a while and ya find out that there's some disagreement within wen cai and kenny they two.. hai lolz.. problem with them again.. did tell they two that they're nt a good listener and stuff too.. tat why i nv tell them about my problem and ya.. tat all for today.. i go sleep liao..

16 October eveing

my god... 3 of my friends bday today... Ah muan, mei yi and priscilla... wow... i thought my bday same is my cousin already very wow liao.. haha.. had a 8km or lesser run just now.. today brining grace to new running route with ah muan... don't know wat happen to ah muan.. suddenly run so fast.. haha well must be grace... haha give him some pressure... total of 5 people running just now.. ah muan, micheal, dragon boat gal(don't know who is she, only know she work at AH) and of cos grace and me...

85 push up in a min... wow.. even if it's gal push up.. it's also wow... guys.. got to do something... I ONLY DID 59 in a min...

been training daily... total distance cover for 4 days 36km.. well aiming to cover at least 42km this week.

16 October

Happy Birthday Mei yi...

guess that u fall sick on the wrong day... did 11km today... thought we can come back faster but nope.. still came back around 60min.. think only faster by half a min... hai.. this whole week feel so tired.. guess need time to get back to study mood...

14 October

found out something about my older sister, she don't know how to give people surprise and ya a loser too.. (here ur present, i spent $30 plus for it) AND i'm happy that they bought cake for me BUT in front of me they asking, want to sing bday song a not.... diao... WTH i just tell them, if want faster cut i damn tired.. but i really am very tired yesterday.. spent almost the whole day in school.. my bday.. hai.. no choice...

well, today lesson still ok.. and ya.. around 2pm plus.. got grace msg, asking who is free to run at macritchie. without thinking about the program i plan, i just told her yes... was thinking about running today too just that ah muan nt free to run today so have to wait till thursday... did 7km with her.. pacing her? nope.. help her time? nope.. i also don't know what my role.. haha think i'm just a body guard that helped her chase away monkeys.. and ya found out something... someone side view (face) look like monkey.. haha..

planning to head back home after the run, but got a msg from cousin that she wanted to meet me for dinner.. i haven't been contacting her for a long time.. it's like out of a sudden.. i feel something fishy.. but grace told me how fishy can it be.. she ur cousin.. well i agree with it.. BUT i found out that she working at MLM network marketing.. at first she brought me to a coffee shop to have dinner.. when reach there, i saw some people wearing tie discussing stuff with hmm maybe client.. i know something is not right... being to MLM company a few time.. very offen kanna bluff by friends.. now i learn my lesson.. had dinner while planning what to say and do when she start toking about MLM stuff... my cousin brought another friend over.. u know they like to have more people to talk about MLM stuffs... when they ask me to go up to the company, i know it's time to leave... they keep asking me to go up, at first i told them i'm tired just want to go back and rest but they just keep asking e up.. then i told them i don't like to be cheated to come since my cousin told me it's a meet up for dinner.. think i so dumb meh... already know wat going to happen.. lucky they let me off.. if not.. i'll be mean! i crave i bite.. haha no la.. u spark my anger, u're gone!

having a loser sister will lead to a loser father.. he scolded my younger sister for not helping he buy food.. ya i know his injure... scream and complain so much.. well i'm thinking.. he shouldn't be angry, in fact he should start to worry.. we sadly, his children are starting to ignore him.. SO he should start worrying instead or rather in fact he should be worried!

long post today.. too much to say today... and ya last thing.. thank for those present friends... like it a lot.. 3 watches, 2 for sport and ya 1 for casual wear.. well i still prefer leather watch to chain watch but well like the brand EVERLAST

this is from my mum.. SMASH nv heard b4 the brand.. but it's a good watch

this is from my gd friends... EVERLASTING FRIENDSHIP i still prefer leather one.. no worried will wear it out

Love this watch, nice looking and lot of functions... thanks to whoever that chose this watch and the share holder too!

12 October

So tired!!! have been fooling around last nite... was at my friend place for steamboat... we started eating around 11pm plus... eat till very full... kenny bought me a slice of Tiramisu lucky not the smelly one that i ate before.. he still remember that time i ate that smelly misu haha real smelly one... didn't have cake for doreen and my bday... her birthday on the 8 oct and mine 13.. we had one big tub of ice cream instead.. eat till want to vomit lor.. the steamboat itself already eat a lot liao... after ck they all left, then the real fun begin.. can't play with his smelly black face.. just spoil our mood... lolz..

why do people always like to draw face so much.. lolz.. they draw our face with camo cream.. the best thing is... i brought the cream there!!! actually want to scare doreen one but end up.. argh!!! haha but it's was fun.. all of us got out face drew.. only hui ting and kenny nv.. no choice they taking photo of us fooling around... lolz... there gone my ivp vest... get dirtly with the camo cream... hopefully can wash off... haha i didn't mean to dirtly ur cloth doreen.. just not careful only... we end the partly with a disgusting drink... make me drink Jim Beam + Milk + Chocolate.. lolz the jim beam taste damn werid la.. as u know.. i cut down on drinking due to healthy life style.. haha kind of werid right.. those word from my mouth..

they got me and doreen a watch, mine is same as their. lian chen and wen cai bought the same watch as me too.. both my good friends... and haha kenny had the same watch too... "EVERLAST" watch.. to me, it's more like everlasting friendship for the 4 of us... been very close to each other no matter what... Good friends are hard to find and ya.. i have 3 of them as my good friends.. same watches somemore...

had breakfast at maxwell then head off to get our watch fix to our hand size.. after then send doreen to work haha sunday still have to work... actually want to hang out with kok wei but just too tired liao... only slept a few hour.. end up nv meet and ya.. slept till night fall...

may our friendship remain no matter what happen...

some photo of us fooling

11 October 12.27am

don't know why this 2 days can't sleep well... tried to sleep at 12am but always lie on bed till 2am like that then sleep.. hai.. how come ar?

did 11km for training today.. run till leg sour lor.. haha but oh well.. come to think of it.. if i can continue running the pace for another 10km, my 21km run will be less than 2hr which is what i want... hopefully will be able to do it for my standard chart run... had dinner with trackmates after training.. wanted to ask lian chen or cousin they all out for dinner.. i craving for roti john at great world there.. but too last min so can't manage to get them out.. nvm then.. still got other day ba... Argh i want roti john!!! after eating, cai call me as i drop him a miss call.. just nice he on the way back home from camp.. so just nice can meet him then go back together... pei him go eat then he come my place to see his fishes and ya accompany him to wait for bus then i came back.. 5km more to clock 42km for this week!!! hopefully will be able to go for the run tomorrow..

8 October

did 10.5km run during training.. haha pacing was just perfect.. haha someone not there to mess up our pace.. we still can talk a bit throughout the run BUT how come i get abrasion for this run!!! nipple abrasion somemore!!! so painful!!! anyway i had dinner with mum and sister outside.. hardly get the chance to eat together... mum is always busy with work... although it's just a simple meal...

i'll follow u... if u get what i mean... haha... it's all about running..

8 October

think tat i'll be heading down for training later... had already told my mum that most likely will be going for training... the plan now is, they will wait for my training to be over then go eat together.. wake up early yesterday cos have to register for GEM, went to buy another beta fish (fighting fish). was looking for a half moon type and ya bought one read and white colour fish for only $5.. quite cheap and ya bought some earth worm for my 25 fishes... lolz.. come to think of it, i got a lot of pets.. 1 rabbit, 3 hamster and 25 beta fishes.. li hai ba... haha... too bad my rabbit not very close to me.. no time to pei her play.. she closer to my sister and that useless ass ARGH! why him!

spent my whole afternoon feeding those fishes with worm.. some haven't feed finish then i need to head off to meet ah muan for a run know him from my previous job, he one of them that give me the passion for running... first time got people scare of me... he claim that i'm giving him pressure haha.. first time u know.. did a 8km light run with him.. want to make up the training on monday... after the run, went back home to continue feeding those fishes again.. took me so long just to feed those fishes...

few more days to my big day.. well same as my cousin thinking, just another day.. cousin bday same as mine.. she's 1 year older than me.. not more not less

7 October

ARGH!!! useless ass!!! don't even know how to wash ur plate urself... just leave it there for people to wash... still keep calling me to do thing! shit u la... i'll help anyone in the family expect u!!! nv even take good care of the family for so many years.. this few years worst... nv even bother... only let mother suffer!!! get lost from my sight!!! U seriouly spoil my mood...

guess tomorrow confirm heading down for training.. don't wish to see his face! not at all

6 October afternoon

just came back from lunch with timothy... went back to previous working place to find him... noting change in office.. still the same people there... didn't manage to get the rest of them out as they're lack of staff and have to work through lunch time.. guess i'm not there that why so busy haha.. i one person can cover 2 person job ok... just that anyhow do some only... some only.. after eating we went to shop at queenway for a while, end up tim bought a soccer shoe lolz.. and he keep saying no money...

he went back to office and ya.. was planning to buy one fighting fish which is different from what i have... but just can't seem to find a nice half moon tail de... and i found out something... my fishes are nicer than outside selling de haha so proud of myself...

compare compare and more compare... i know life can't be compare.. i understand it... just that sometime when life turn out bad... negative thought come in... someone plz guide me throught... i don't wish to go back to the past... use to be very negative...

5 October 12:53am

went out with lian chen after sleeping for a few hours.. we went out to shop for stuff... planning to get a new wallet... while waiting for that da xiao jie, we went to TCC to have a coffee and some cakes... waited for quite some time for her... went to shop for our stuff and ya.. bought a new wallet and then we took cab to chomp chomp to eat... meet kenny and hui ting there to have dinner together... it's been quite some time since i saw kenny... had dinner and went out for a walk then settle down at some place to chit chat... well we chat till quite late.. left the place at aound 12am plus.. no choice had to take cab back.. Argh! tomorrow still got to work...

most people say but do differently even me... impression for u have changed too... no longer the understanding person that i know... maybe is only this thing that make u think of urself more..

2 October

working today.. left my phone in my bag as i tried not to msg... think of it... my life had go back to normal... that life that i don't want to... hate my life now... no sms no miss call no everything... no one care.. they don't know how i feel and how my life now.. they thought i'm fine cos i don't talk about it.. in fact, i'm having a very moody days.. it's been a few weeks already.. might be putting up smile and laughter but that just an act... i'm not like other, say forget then forget... i'm not like the rest of my friends, got family to talk to or rather their family do care about them... i know i cannot compare their life to mine.. but what can i do.. my life is getting from bad to worst.. at time thing might get better but somehow it's just ended suddenly... that why i'm a careful hearted person.. don't wish to get hurt but some stuff just cannot be avoid... at first i thought i finally meet someone i want but things just get worst... hate myself for screwing it out... really hope to get another chance... instead of rushing for thing.. think i got to go slow... hopefully thing will turn out right again.. i seriously hope so... for the first time, my mum want to celebrate my bday.. i should be happy but i can't seem to be... have been dreaming alot, my wishes don't seem to come true at all... i hate to be alone! for the past 5 or rather 6 year to be, i've been lonely in heart... i know thing cannot be force.. but i just can't stop myself from thinking about it... seem like i'm not going to enjoy my bday... for now i only hoping for a chance... i willing to wait... i willing to do anything for that small chance from u... sorry to blog this out... just that i really have no one to talk to..

wishes will nv nv come true for me...

1 October

ran 8km plus today... kind of tired after running... meet up with coach they all for the run.. after the run.. coach send us back... lolz he thought i live at hougang!!! mix up with qi wen... haha end up he go 1 big round to send me bad... feel so bad... well in his car.. he tok to me alot about running and time mangement stuffs... well do agree in wat he say... guess that i really have to start planning my time well and ya rest early... let say around 12am like tat ba then slowly sleep earlier...

my god it's october already... 2 more week only...

plz guide me wat to do... i don't want to make u feel bad...